From Journey to Sexual Wholeness by Kypris Aster Drake:
“Learning to touch each other in a whole new way is the first part of weaving the elements together. New levels of pleasure and ecstasy spring into being when you are open to changing the way that you give and receive touch. When I first learned these practices from my teacher, Mellissa Seaman (see Bibliography and Resources), I was astounded by their power to evoke deep healing and awareness, in addition to the ecstasy and sexual arousal they can create. Mellissa used to tell our priestess circle that elemental touch was a way to “open all the latches” that were holding the lid of our spiritual container closed. Dropping into these practices, we open the latches one by one, until we are able to remove the lid to see all of who we are that has been locked inside.
Tantric touch takes the sexual healing modality to a deeper level, allowing us to really feel in our body how and why and when someone is touching us. Many of us need the healing that comes from loving touch, not only on our torso, legs and arms, but also on our genitals and breasts. When we allow this touch to come from a safe and sacred healing massage that includes energy healing, deep shifts in the genitals begin to happen, and layers of body armor begin to be released. Often we experience an awakening of our sexuality through regular massage, but imagine if you were to receive a massage that included loving touch on your lingam or yoni? This type of touch is important to our sexual wholeness, and I urge you to practice giving and receiving this touch with your partner. There is something magickal about receiving the gift of intimate touch from someone who does not need or even want you to touch them back or to do anything at all. For a woman receiving yoni massage, it is so beautiful to have the yoni adored without any demands to make love afterward. The yoni awakens when given this kind of touch, and especially when the touch does not insist on focusing on the g-spot. Men also benefit greatly from tantric massage that includes the lingam and the prostate without any need to be aroused. This touch on the lingam especially helps to remove armoring that stands in the way of greater sensitivity.
It is my first time with a new lover, and I am nervous about moving into physical intimacy, about how it will feel, how we will sync together. He is wise. He tells me to lie down on my belly while he massages my back. I expect a typical inexperienced back massage, but am surprised when I feel the gentle and firm touch of his hands. He is fully present to me. I hear him breathe, and I feel that he is not touching me to make some experience happen within me. Rather, he is touching me because his hands know where they are needed on my body, his hands pay attention to where they are drawn. My heart opens and I relax deeply, letting go even of feeling a head cold, charged by all the energy that is moving through me as he touches me. I am overwhelmed with the relief of being touched in such a loving way, where I can let down my guard and my boundaries, and I begin to cry, just releasing old fears and old wounds, allowing myself to receive this priceless gift of loving healing touch.
You need no formal training to do this work, only genuine desire to let healing energy flow through your hands. I first learned this work by giving healing touch to my father, who was ill with AIDS. I learned to place my hands where he had discomfort, to open my heart, and to let loving energy flow through me from Spirit and into his body. He encouraged me, saying he could feel warmth and love in my hands. Today I am a Reiki healer, but all Reiki has done is to increase the amount of energy that flows through me when I do healing touch. I encourage you to try this touch with your partner and experience how healing it is for both of you to give and receive this touch that leads toward wholeness of the body, mind, emotions, and sexuality.
There are two ways of touching on the body. One way is a very healing, loving, heart-open touch that I described above. The other way of touching the body is to create arousal. There are certain types of touch that are more arousing, and we will talk about those in detail as we explore the elemental touches. But it is mostly the intention of your touch that matters. When you touch your partner with sexual intention, you will feel aroused and your partner will feel it too. You can intentionally create a sexual touch by focusing on inhaling sexual energy up through the body. Use this arousing touch as a form of foreplay, or as a sexual experience all its own. As with any of the sexual practices, you can then flow into making love.
When you are practicing these touches, touch the other with no ego or intent about pleasing them. Rather touch to feel the texture of their skin beneath your hand, as if you were touching a lush fur rug. When you touch in this way of enjoying how your partner feels, because you feel pleasure in touching your partner, you connect directly to Spirit. This type of touch feels amazing to your partner. Breathe, and stay present to feeling your lover’s essence. As you do this, feel deeply into your touching hand and slow down. The secret is to touch your partner as if you have never touched them before. It is as if you are blind, and can only know your partner’s body by touch. Spend time in one role or the other, either fully giving or totally receiving, so that each of you can experience the joy of being fully present.”